Brief eines Bayern an die NASA !

Greet God,

I write you, because you must help me. I have seen your Space Shuttle in the television.
In color. And so came me the idea to make holidays in the world-room. Alone. Without
my crazy wife.

I am the Kraxelhuber. The King of Bavaria was my clock-clock- grandfather. I stand on a
very bad foot with my wife. Always she shouts with me. She has a shrill voice like a circle
saw. She lets no good hair at me. She says I am a Schlapp-tail. She wants that I become
Buergermaster. But I want not be Buergermaster. I have nothing at the hat with the 
political shit. I want my Ruah.

And so I want make holidays on the moon. Without my bad half. But I take my dog with
me. He is a boxer. His name is Wurstl. So I want book a flight in your next Space Shuttle.
But please give me not a window place. I would kotz you the rocket full, because I am not
swindle-free. And no standing-place please...

And please do not tell my wife that I want go alone. She has a big Schrot-Gun. She
would make a sieve from my ass. I need not much comfort. A nice double-room with
bath and klo and heating. And windows with look to the earth. So I can look through my
farglass and see my wife working on the potatoe field.

And I and my dog laugh us a branch (haehae). We will kringel ourself before laughing
(hoehoehoehoe)!

Is what loose on the moon? I need warm weather an I hope the sun shines every day.
This is very good for my frost-boils.

With friendly Servus

Xaver.